


The homeland's dear soil

by Kapla_Quail



Category: Starfighter (Comic)
Genre: Ableist Language, Angst and Feels, Bitterness, Canon Disabled Character, Gentle Sex, Hiding Medical Issues, Homophobic Language, Keeler's past, M/M, Mean Parents, Non-Penetrative Sex, Sadness, Sexual Dysfunction, idk if that comforts anyone, internalized ableism, sad stuff was supposed to turn into fluff eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:26:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25800571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kapla_Quail/pseuds/Kapla_Quail
Summary: Keeler knew why he didn't want to go back to earth again.
Relationships: Encke/Keeler (Starfighter)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12
Collections: Starfighter Summer Challenge





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance for any discomfort the story may cause, as I hope from the depth of my heart that convictions like those of Encke's parents will cease to exist in the future.
> 
> Ah, and because it's 'sex in unlikely places-day', I want to announce that this also happens at some point (though I'm not sure if the place actually qualifies as unlikely...but let's not be nitpicky about it this time, please).
> 
> Solomon Lukanga = Encke  
> Erik = Keeler

“And I said I'm not going.” Keeler flung his hair back with intractability and defiance, then fastened his eyes on his screen again, on the disconcerting structure of the Terons' deepspace shipyard that awaited analyzing.

Encke huffed, annoyed, but not defeated. He bent over Keeler's desk slightly, leaning on his hands that made such a sharp contrast to the white tabletop, the white chairs and walls of the Lead Navigator's office.

“Keeler. Listen”, he started anew. “Think with your head now please, and tell me what is more suspicious – a lieutenant collapsing during an exhausting transfer to earth, or a lieutenant staying behind, alone, abandoning his navigators when he should be taking care of them?”

Keeler did look up again, his eyes full of pain, and his mouth was already open to snap some rejoinder when suddenly the effort died on it's way, and all that emerged was a strangled sigh.

Encke took this as a chance to approach his partner even more.

“Hon, please”, he soothed. “What sense is there in going to earth for me if you don't go? Come with me. You can do it, you stand flying just fine, so why not the transfer? And there'll be a week of quarantine to recover from the exertion, anyway.”

Keeler still looked up at him, his underlip quivering.

“Don't be so scared”, Encke whispered, almost inaudibly, before caressing his fingers softly over Keeler's, scared himself to hear Keeler's lingering phrase spoken out loud and having to answer. He wasn't able to imagine how his life could go on in case Keeler was taken from him.

“It's just you and me, babe. You and me. And earth”, Encke added hastily when he saw his partner wince. “Of course, earth. But I'll protect you, Keeler. They won't get you to take you back there. I won't let that happen.”

He weaved his coarse, scarred fingers between Keeler's wispy ones, looking threatening, dark and dangerous like a black panther when he bent down more. “You're mine, Keeler”, the fighter growled. “Remember, in case of emergency I could always insist on my rights.”

The navigator's eyes widened. This statement, Encke's whole combative spirit moved him so much he had to force himself to maintain composure. He inhaled and very carefully put his free hand on top of Encke's where it still held his fingers.

“I...need to finish this here”, Keeler rasped, always navigating even when there was nothing to chase, nowhere to escape. He was trapped in inbred routines, and Encke knew it well.

“Let me think about it again and I'll make my decision tonight.”

Encke kept a straight face and didn't move. After some seconds, however, he nodded slowly, and Keeler treasured the slight twitch around his mouth. It contained so much love and encouragement for him - only for him, because he was the only one able to see what was was laying dormant under the fighter's austere front.

As Encke slowly let his hands go and turned to leave the room, Keeler wished not for the first time that this fine man would have been spared all the secrets and worries that came by being partnered with a flawed navigator. Encke would have deserved a dutiful, stable, devoted companion. Someone stainless. Someone with a clean conscience. How he could stick to Keeler so loyally and faithfully despite the ugly truth was beyond him.

At the door, Encke hesitated and looked back. “One of your navigators was waiting outside earlier”, he stated matter-of-factly, the professional, hard Lead Fighter again. “Shall I admit him in if he's still there?”

Keeler sighed and pinched the base of his nose. “Phobos. The poor thing”, he mumbled wearily. He looked up at Encke again and miraculously a little smile returned to his exhausted features.

“He could be such a good navigator. He's clever and quick and has so many hidden talents. It's a pity the boy is his own worst enemy.” Keeler shrugged apologetically. “Send him in, Encke. Somehow, I'll figure him out someday.”

“I'm sure you will”, Encke answered, and he looked back at Keeler's soft features while he thought: 'Never will my eyes be adequate to acknowledge all your beauty.'

“Thanks, Encke”, Keeler said.


	2. Chapter 2

His mother hugged him, his father hugged him, too. They asked him how the transfer to earth had been, the quarantine, the flight, if he was happy to be home again, if he missed space already. They wanted to know everything about the Sleipnir and its commanders, and it took Encke a small eternity to disentangle himself from their arms and to finally make them notice that there was another man standing there with him, waiting patiently, a few foot apart from the family reunion, watching with an affectionate smile. But Encke could see in his eyes, in the way his duffle bag pulled down his bony shoulder that something inside him was already starting to crack.

“Er, Mum“, and Solomon took her arm to slightly pull her towards Keeler, “I want to introduce you to the Sleipnir’s Lead Navigator. My navigator. Keeler.“

Why, oh why had his parents had to put on their complete Commander’s robes to fetch their son from the airport? He was glad now that Keeler and him had decided to travel in their full uniforms, too, although the gap in the rank was visible to the Alliance-schooled eye anyway.

“Oh. Welcome to Luanda, Lieutenant.“

His parents surprisedly stared at the pubescent-looking white figure with the braid, then shook hands with him formally and politely while Keeler greeted the two commanders with all proper respect. Something went wrong already, Encke could feel it, he tried to catch Keeler’s glance to tell him somehow, but Keeler looked up to his mum, inaccessible.

In the flight-taxi, Encke had hoped to be able to secretly take Keeler’s hand, to whisper some excuses to him and some comfort because he knew Keeler's life on earth had been spent locked up, never free to fly through a city. But his father obligingly offered him the front seat next to himself, so Encke had to make do with his mother on the backseat, could only admire Keeler’s hair floating in the airflow while they traversed the impressive silhouette of Encke’s hometown.

In their pretty house, Encke was immediately besieged by Bella, the family's big brown dog whose resemblance to Encke would have amused Keeler under other circumstances. But as soon as he tried to approach the animal, it growled menacingly, showed his teeth and acted so hostile Encke had to forcefully drag it away from the intruder by the collar, puzzled about this odd behaviour.

Encke’s mom, watching the scenery with indignation, had the apéritif ready as soon as they turned. His father brought out a toast to the survival and the career of his son and they just were about to clink glasses when a new moment of awkwardness destroyed the effort. Keeler declined the drink, smiling and politely, but it was wrong and Encke felt a stab in his heart for bringing him here at all.

“I beg your pardon, commander Lukanga“, Keeler said cutely, blushing a bit and Encke’s heart started bleeding, “I don’t drink. But thank you very much for your great kindness and for welcoming me in your house.“

His mother cleared her throat, and she looked neither cordially nor understanding. “So, Lieutenant Keeler, where are you from?“

Keeler named the town and the country, and Encke could feel it coming, could feel the circle draw closer around Keeler and he wanted to protect him but didn’t know how as this wasn’t a fight. Or was it?

“Such a beautiful town. And you decided not to visit your family once you have the opportunity?“

Encke turned to give Keeler courage with his look, but Keeler didn’t need that, he smiled cheerily and gently as always and only Encke who knew him better than anyone else could see in his eyes how his heart slowly broke.

“Oh, I will, I will next time, ma'am. But this time, my fighter convinced me to come with him to see Africa, and I accepted.“ He smiled towards Encke, and he was beautiful even now when his smile didn’t reach his eyes and Encke knew why.

“Well“, Mrs. Lukanga sourly said to Encke, “Our son could at least have prepared us he’d bring a guest along. But that’s no problem. I’ll take the butler-bot with me and quickly prepare a room for Lieutenant Keeler to sleep in. I’ll be right back.“

She already turned to put her glass away and to get busy, but Encke caught her at the sleeve, made her mouth twitch in confusion. There was not much time to think about his words before he heard them coming out of his mouth, he knew he wouldn’t say the right thing but he had to say something, it was all fucked up.

“Don’t bother, mum, please. Keeler and I are...partners, we’re used to sharing a room and...and we“, he blushed heavily, saw Keeler’s big eyes, his father’s horrified stare, "We love each other“, he said and knew it was all wrong, so wrong, even if it was the simple truth.

His parents stood there, speechless, gape-mouthed, slowly approaching him and Keeler where they were suddenly standing next to each other closely, they were as tall as he was but so much taller than Keeler, and he felt his partner’s body become tense.

“Solomon, what are you talking about?”, his mother hissed, still coming closer, and he could feel the tension becoming unbearable, could feel Keeler’s hand tremble against his side and he turned towards him only just in time to clasp him, to catch his limp body in his arms when he fell.

His parents froze and Encke, cradling this too familiar weight, looked at them in fury.

“Oh Mother, what’s wrong?”, his mother shrieked. “I call an ambulance!”

“Wait! Let me...”

Encke stepped in his father's way. “I need no fucking ambulance. I said he's my partner. I know him. I can handle this just fine.”

“But what's with him? Is he sick? No, he can't be, he can't...”

Encke didn't answer. Snorting like a wounded bull, he slowly turned to do what he always did in those situations. He carried his lover somewhere safe, up the broad staircase, Keeler heavy in his arms and his hair coming loose, waving down across his arm like a beautiful white curtain.


	3. Chapter 3

He sat down on his bed next to where he’d put Keeler, upper body elevated on cushions to relieve his heart. He felt his pulse, checked his respiration. Keeler was wheezing a bit, but it didn’t sound too bad, maybe he could do without his spray this time. It was inaccessible anyway, down in the kitchen in his duffle bag.

Encke let his head sink into his hands as he waited for his lover to wake up. It had been a terrible mistake to bring him here and as always, Keeler had known it, only Encke hadn’t, he hadn't believed him it would go like that.

From downstairs he could hear the distant voices of his parents, arguing.

“This is a crime!”, his mother was hissing. “This is against the rules of the Alliance!”

The baritone of his father: “It is. But Rose, this is military. They’re fighting for each other with their lives everyday. Those dependencies can be mistaken for love very quickly.”

His mother: “They can never! When I was active on the Edda, something like that _never_ occurred!”

“Well, I know it occurred on the Ragnarök, Rose. At least in some teams”, his father quickly added. “And only think of Gemma and Funmilayo, of Célestine and Renée...”

His mother was spitting mad. “They got together way after their enlistment ended, and you know that!”

His father's answer was not loud enough anymore to be heard.

Encke sighed. Keeler made no sound, no movement. He had to be very exhausted and probably also was pretty dehydrated, so Encke decided to go downstairs again to fetch him a glass of water eventually.

His parents fell silent and watched him dumbstruck when he walked past them to the sink.

“Solomon, honey, please say it's not true”, his mother begged. “It can’t be true! Please tell me you don’t... I mean, he's your friend, you get along, that's what you mean, right?”

He looked in her eyes disappointedly and suddenly he felt an urge to hurt her more.

“You want to know if we're fucking, right?” It sounded coarse. He saw her flinch and placed his strike. “I tell you something, Ma. Actually, it’s Keeler who fucks _me_ , because he’s an amazing top and I _like_ when he’s in control.”

She became so pale Encke feared for a moment she might faint, too. But things like that probably never happened to her.

“You could have had every girl”, she whimpered. “All of your cousins had a crush on you, and there were handsome boys here in the neighbourhood, too, if that's really what you need. But you...Why did you have to bring this weakling in our house? A sickly, womanish, degenerated...”

Something snapped. Encke stepped very close to his mother, very close, and slowly spat the words in her face: “He is _not_ degenerated.”

He could see she was afraid of him. He wanted to squish the glass in his hand, wanted to throw it against the wall, wanted to punch his father for standing there watching wordlessly, but he was a Lead Fighter after all and no colonial brute. So he ran up the stairs again, entered his room where Keeler still slept like poisoned Snow White, and opened the window to let the breeze and the sight of his town appease him.

The lights, the sea, the noise of the people that gathered in the streets now that the dusk began to fall. This was his home – his home as it could be. A home where he hoped that narrowminded attitudes like the one of his parents were long extinguished. Earth was so beautiful if one was honest, it tore one's heart apart.

He didn't know how long he'd watched.

“Is it really true you'd like me to top, being in control?”, a feeble, slightly mocking voice suddenly cut the silence.

Encke slowly turned his face towards where Keeler lay. If not for the white hair and uniform, he wouldn't be able to distinguish his shape any more in the quickly fading light. The fighter shrugged. “I had to say something”, he said simply.

Encke shoved himself from the windowsill, rounded the bed and sat down next to Keeler. His partner shuffled to make space, tugging Encke's shirt until his fighter lay close to him, on the very edge like this wasn't Encke's large bed but their bunk on the Sleipnir.

For a long time they lay in the darkness like that, too troubled, tired and too sad to speak.

“So you never told them.”

“No.”

“Did you know they'd be like that? I mean, they've been in space, too. Alliance can't have been so different a few years ago.” Keeler turned his head a little against his shoulder, but Encke didn't dare to meet his eyes when he spoke.

“Well, usually they seemed to be fine with it, you know. But we never spent much time together, and I guess there's little we know about each other. Don't worry though, babe. I don't think it's because of us dating that they freak out...”

“Ah”, Keeler said mechanically, acrimoniously, and that little sound hurt Encke's heart like a knife's stab. “So when it's not because I'm a man, or a navigator, that they dislike me, it's not hard to guess what the reason could be.”

“Stop it, Keeler. Please, just stop it. I refuse to just put up with this. I'll force them to look at you, over and over again, at all you are, and change their mindset. I'm not afraid of how long it might take. And believe me, I didn't wish for this to happen. But their despite will not alter my love to you, babe.”

Keeler inhaled sharply and Encke was afraid he might start to cry. He couldn't handle it when he did that, when he acted like his boys, like stereotypical navigators. So he hugged him tighter, holding his hand where it was folded around his waist. Not knowing what to say, he just stayed like this in silence, sad, but calm, unfamiliar and yet at home.

“So...”, Keeler uttered when the darkness in the room prepared to become oppressive, “Here we are: in your youth bed.” He didn't actually chuckle, but Encke could literally hear his smirk and couldn't help shaking his head about his partner.

“I don't know what you want to imply with that, Kee”, he answered. “You know I spent most of my life in boarding schools. I only ever slept in this room when there were holidays and my parents happened to be on leave. I certainly didn't lose my virginity here, if that's what you wanted to know.”

“Oh”, Keeler said, disappointedly. “And I thought you would tell your _amazing top_ everything about it.”

“Keeler. It was an exhausting day for you, and I really think you should get some rest now. Tomorrow my parents will leave for work early and we'll have the house for us all day to do whatever you want. But now I think the curfew bell is ringing for you, lieutenant. You're still adjusting to the terrestrial atmosphere, don't forget that.”

Keeler sighed and yawned heavily. “Okay, okay.”

“Come on, dear, let's go to the bathroom. It's nice, you'll see, and there's warm water as much as you like.”

There was no question if Keeler was fit to walk. Without further ado, Encke lifted his partner from the bed and carried him out of the dark room.


	4. Chapter 4

When Encke opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was a blinding glance of gold. He had to blink twice before he understood that the strange gleam was the sunlight's reflection on Keeler's hair – an apparition he had never seen before. One he couldn't have imagined to be more beautiful.

The navigator was sitting on the left windowsill where he had drawn up the sun-blind just enough to be able to look outside, down over the roofs towards the shore and the sea further down, over the little hills and valleys of Luanda. Considering the fact that he seemed completely absorbed in his own thoughts, he was probably doing so a long time already.

His was face was turned away from the room accordingly, and he had put his hair aside so Encke could admire the fine line of his bare neck and, as his glance slid down, the elegant curve of his body, twisted to keep balance on the narrow windowsill. Keeler still wore Encke's old shirt that hung loosely on his skinny frame, reaching almost to his knees like an oversize dress, exposing his gorgeous, stretched legs in an alluring manner while the breeze played lazily with some unsubdued locks.

Keeler sat there like a fair maiden. Encke inhaled and felt how quickly he got hard for his partner just by watching, and his voice was throated and husky when he dared to call Keeler by his name.

The other man turned slowly, as if waking up from a dream, and smiled gently at Encke in the sheets, his hands starting to slowly braid his hair, probably for the hundredth time.

“Good morning”, he breathed.

“Come back”, Encke rasped, not able to stand the sight of those legs any longer without touching them, without putting his arms around this body emerging from the light. It was embarrassing how needy he was, but fortunately he had no brainpower left to think about it.

Keeler, however, had. He smirked when he obeyed now, slipping from the windowsill with a blush, then climbing unto the bed next to Encke almost shyly, smoothing his long shirt at the sides.

“Are you so starved?”, the navigator whispered, a slight astonishment in his voice when his hands brushed the thin blanket away and exposed Encke's body to his sight, to his hands and to the warm rays of the sun. Keeler chuckled, but Encke felt serious about his urge.

“Mother, you're so beautiful, you minx, so fucking beautiful. I dreamt so long about seeing you in the sunlight, and now, finally... We're alive, Keeler!” And Encke wanted to tell Keeler more about it, more about how much he was in love with him.

But Keeler was a navigator, always matter-of-factly, not to be impressed by poetic praise. Before Encke could stop him, he bent down to do what he thought Encke wanted him to do, over-zealous here and on duty alike.

Encke wasn't small, and Keeler wasn't capable of doing much without making himself sick. He had his knacks, though, and Encke had come to appreciate his technique - his wet tongue, his soft lips on his foreskin, exploring and playing while his hair tickled Encke's smooth, bronze flesh like dragonfly wings. Keeler wrapped his lips around Encke but briefly, wandered up and down instead, slid his tongue over the crucial spots. It was slow and light, and yet it aroused Encke so much he felt he wouldn't last long.

“Keeler”, he ordered gently, gasping. “Lay down, turn to the side.”

Keeler looked up with shiny lips, a sparkle in his eyes, and Encke made sure it was the right side when Keeler obeyed. He snuggled to Keeler's lean back, pressing close to the familiar body, savouring the warmth of the sun still lingering on that skin and wondering, wondering...

In space, Keeler had never felt warm. Encke knew him cold and damp like his heart disease, a pale, freezing fairy, only hot for the eye. Maybe it was the new medication that brought the change? Anyway, it was wonderful. Keeler gasped, too, still chuckling and smiling while Encke's strong hand wandered down his little, firm backside.

“Yes”, Encke moaned, sucking Keeler's neck as he ground against him, noticing how Keeler's eyes fell closed, how his smile didn't vanish although his breath came a bit more quickly.

Encke abandoned Keeler's neck and bent down, let his hand draw upwards on Keeler's skinny thigh, following it with greedy lips, this way slowly pushing the hem of Keeler's shirt up. He savoured every new inch of bare, perfect skin until finally he could slide his hand down the phenomenal curve of Keeler's naked hip. Such smooth, spotless, flawless skin – how was it even possible to feel and look so perfect?

Encke bent upwards again to bury his face in Keeler's neck and hair, his hands roaming wherever they could get under the shirt. Of course Encke noticed how his aching hardness didn't find it's counterpart in Keeler. But this didn't mean much, he knew that, Keeler's medication often hampered his reactions, this had nothing to do with what his partner felt or wanted. The way the navigator's eyelashes flattered, the way goosebumps were spreading over his skin where Encke's hand rested, it was a language on it's own, and a language Encke understood.

So he carefully grabbed Keeler's upper leg, pressing even closer to his partner until he could slide his erection between those firm thighs, marvelling at the tightness and heat he met there.

When he moved, he did so very slowly, more grinding than really thrusting, listening to how Keeler's exhalations slowly became moans, Keeler's hand coming to rest on Encke's that held his hip in place.

It felt so comfortable and warm, so tight and familiar. It made Encke want to merge entirely with this skinny warm frame, and before he could even finish this thought he came, gently and without more than a groan, hugging Keeler tight while stars temporarily took his sight away.

“We're alive, Keeler”, Encke repeated breathelessly, “You and me...we're alive.”

He could see Keeler's mouth curve into a smile at that.

This was his happiest day on earth.


End file.
